Becoming an Atheist

2022-02-14

Let me tell you the time I tried to become an atheist.

I write this to tell you that it is normal to go through a season of doubt in the faith. It was maybe about 10 years ago. It had been a little bit since I had left the prospect of fulltime ministry. It had just hit the news that a doomsday cult was predicting the end of the world, which is clearly an unbiblical idea. But they were interviewing many of these people on the eve of their so-called rapture. It somehow struck me how sincere these people were, and how many of them used the same lingo and seemed to believe similarly as I did. Something struck me very sour about the whole thing. How can so many different religious people all be sincere in such error?

I started looking into the claims of atheism. Before I knew it, I was neck-deep into their mockery, which detailed hypocrisy of Christians.

Then, one day, everything came to a head. I laid on my bed, and a despairing horror came over me. The thought of there being no God and all its implications meant a hopelessness that made everything lose value.

Shortly after this, a need came up, but if there was no God, I could not call on Him. But it was like I was holding my breath, needing air, and denying there was air in the room to breathe. But of course, there was air! I called upon the Lord and took that deep breath of air I knew was there.

I tell you this because we go through times of doubt and defeat. We are hammered by ungodliness every day, and we can give into it sometimes to varying degrees. Even John the Baptist needed encouragement in his doubting that Jesus was the Christ. “Art thou he that should come, or do we look for another?” (Matthew 11:3). Seek the Lord. It is not all apologetics and logic, though those can be helpful tools. It is calling out to a real Person that really exists and really hears. “...he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him” (Hebrews 11:6).

I also tell you this to show you that if you are truly born again, He is not going to let you go too far without mowing you over and bringing you back. It will also be a learning experience, in which you will trust Him that much more.