Marriage

2024-02-17

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. (Genesis 2:24-25)

This is the first reference to marriage in the Bible. This is before the fall of humankind. Adam was still in the Garden of Eden. We see it was designed and initiated by God. Consider the passage Genesis 2:18-25.

Marriage in Genesis 2

Here, we see the first time in the book of Genesis where something was “not good.” There was neither sin nor curse, but Adam being alone was “not good.” We see that God’s solution to Adam’s alone-ness is to give him a “help.”

However, God does not just give him a “help”; He shows Adam that he was alone and that he needed someone. All the animals that were in the garden were brought to him. In the process of naming them, surely Adam noticed that there was a male and a female of every creature. He must have seen the lack of a partner. “And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him” (Genesis 2:20).

God created Adam’s wife from Adam’s body. There was no death in those days, but God did cause Adam to go into a state of deep sleep. Think what they must do in the hospital for surgeries. This sleep must have been on that level. Adam’s rib was fashioned into his wife, whom we know later as being named Eve.

Adam immediately recognized Eve as the partner he needed. She was in his likeness. “And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man” (Genesis 2:23). “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them” (Genesis 1:27).

This set the pattern for all future husbands and wives: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). Adam had no father to leave, but every man today leaves his father and mother to start a family of his own.

Moreover, we read, “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed” (Genesis 2:25). There are two parts to this. First, there was no shame before the Fall. Later, after their sin, they did feel shame and tried to cover up. However, there is still no shame of nakedness between a man and his wife even after the Fall. However, there is plenty of shame between two that are not a man and his wife when they are naked together.

There are roles given in marriage. The wife is to be the “help” of the man. She is a support and counterpart to the man. This is not politically correct, but it is the Biblical view. This establishes the man as the leader and the wife as the support. Recall that the Word of God, the commandment concerning the tree of knowledge, was entrusted to the man before the woman came along (Genesis 2:16-17). The wife supports him in whatever his God-given endeavor is.

Effects of the Fall on Marriage

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. (Genesis 3:16)

The effects of the fall put the roles of the man and woman out of balance. The husband was once a leader, but now he wants to rule like a tyrant over his wife. Perhaps the implication here is also that the wife’s desire is for her husband’s position as leader, and that she will attempt to undermine that leadership. This seems to be the case as the same wording is used here: “If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him” (Genesis 4:7). As sin had desire for Cain, the woman has desire for the man. These things seem to be the case today.

Other marriage deviations came about because of the Fall: people tried to redefine what it was: “And Lamech took unto him two wives...” (Genesis 4:19). More on this later.

Marriage in Malachi 2

Consider also Malachi 2:13-16. The Scriptures tell us that our marriages with our wives are “covenants” (Malachi 2:14). It involves an oath that cannot be undone except by death.

Moreover, God makes the husband and the wife “one”: “...they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). “And did not he make one?” (Malachi 2:15). The purpose of this being “one” is stated here: “That he might seek a godly seed.”

The men of Judah had “dealt treacherously” with their wives. This seems to be an allusion to divorce and violence against their wives. “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously” (Malachi 2:16). God hates these things.

The Antitype Marriage: Christ and the Church

To understand what makes a good marriage, we look at what marriage represents: Jesus Christ and the Church.

In Genesis 2 terms, God saw that His Son was alone without a suitable companion. He found no suitable helper among the nations. Jesus slept the sleep of death and His bride, the Church, a spiritual nation, resulted from this death. When He arose from His sleep of death, He saw the bride of His likeness. He left His Father to be joined to His wife, the Church. They are both without shame.

In Malachi 2 terms, “godly seed” is produced. The seed of the Word of God preached by the Church produces new Christians. “A seed shall serve him; it shall be accounted to the Lord for a generation” (Psalm 22:30). “Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise him; he hath put him to grief: when thou shalt make his soul an offering for sin, he shall see his seed, he shall prolong his days, and the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in his hand” (Isaiah 53:10).

Every marriage should reflect what Jesus did for His Church. Jesus loved the Church in that He laid down His life for her. The Church reverences Christ. This reemphasizes that the wife was created for the man, and not vice versa. “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man” (1 Corinthians 11:9).

Marriage Deviations

Because of sin, people wanted to change what God had designed. Departing from the pattern of God’s design is especially evil because it represents the union between God’s Son and His bride, the Church. Here are some examples of deviations:

1. Fornication. Two people that are unmarried getting together. This is distinct from adultery. If people fornicate, they should get married. “And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins” (Exodus 22:16-17).
2. Adultery. Two people where at least one person is married to somebody else getting together. God is passionate enough about marriage to place strict penalties on it. “And the man that committeth adultery with another man’s wife, even he that committeth adultery with his neighbour’s wife, the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death” (Leviticus 20:10).
3. Divorce and Remarriage. This was likened to adultery according to the Lord Jesus Christ. “And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery” (Matthew 19:9) More discussion here.
4. Lust. The Lord Jesus also likens lust to adultery. “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28). This would include all your pornographic materials and mere images in your mind.
5. Polygamy. We alluded to this already with Lamech. But the Lord said, “they twain shall be one flesh.” Polygamy would be more than two becoming one flesh.
6. Homosexuality. God created separate genders for a reason. If He condoned homosexuality, He would not have bothered with separate genders. There are not two Christs or two Churches. This also is severe like the previous cases. “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination” (Leviticus 18:22).

There are other examples, but this covers a lot of ground. Lust alone convicts most of the human population. What is important to us is that marriage is serious because of whom it represents. The deterioration of marriage indicates deterioration of our society.

Before you get married, you need to pray and consider who you will marry, knowing that it lasts for as long as you live.