Divorce and Remarriage

2011-08-13

The purpose of this document is to argue against the case that divorce and remarriage is permissible.

Except For Fornication...

Consider the following scripture:

Matthew 19:3-9: “The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.”

Many people in the world get divorced and remarried, even in the local church. One often has to wonder, why did Jesus give these commands, and why are they blatantly ignored by today’s believers?

Part of the problem was the movement in Bible translation of changing “fornication” in verse 9 to “sexual immorality” or “adultery.” This is my opinion of what probably happened: Because of this change to sexual immorality, a chain of reasoning ensued that if someone committed adultery, then all the subsets of adultery were viable excuses, such as lust or pornography. Do not get me wrong. All of those types of things are wicked as hell, but they are not good reasons for divorce. People likely trace anything their spouses do to relate to “sexual immorality” just so they do not have to work out their problems! The marriage vow must be taken seriously! Remember that we swore to remain with our wives “for better or for worse.” Yes, that “worse” could be very bad, so know what you are getting into!

It is clear from Jesus’ commandment that remarriage after a divorce constitutes adultery. If you remarry, you live in a constant state of adultery! Now there are a few schools of thought that handle this differently. First, there is the school of thought that says you ought to separate from the second marriage if you get remarried (for example, if you do all of this before you get saved, and are convicted of the sin of divorce and remarriage). The problem with that one is that the remarried divorcee also swore an oath to that new spouse, so they violate an oath they swore. Second, there is the school of thought that says you ought to remain as you are (i.e., remain married to the new spouse), echoing the thoughts of Paul in 1 Corinthians 7 (though I believe this is out of context). In this case, you remain in adultery for life. I honestly do not know what to tell you. These choices are both bad, so we need to stick with our first spouse no matter the cost, until death.

If Jesus permitted divorce for “fornication,” then what does that mean? Deuteronomy 22:13-21 and 24:1-4 gives us the answer: if a man finds that his betrothed wife was not a virgin, then it was permitted to divorce. This was illustrated in the situation of Joseph and Mary in Matthew 1:18-20:

“Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost. Then Joseph her husband, being a just man, and not willing to make her a publick example, was minded to put her away privily. But while he thought on these things, behold, the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a dream, saying, Joseph, thou son of David, fear not to take unto thee Mary thy wife: for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Ghost.”

Joseph, like what any man would have normally thought if his fiancée turned up pregnant, would probably not have married her. Obviously, this was an exceptional case that God explained to him. But Joseph was doing what was lawful according to the Law of Moses. This sort of thing does not happen after being married awhile!

This commandment of Jesus is not alone in the Bible; for further reading, consider Matthew 5:31-32; Mark 10:2-12; and Luke 16:18.

Unbelieving Spouses

Other situations do also come up, as the apostle Paul talks about in 1 Corinthians 7:10-16:

“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace. For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?”

In these verses, he states that if a Christian is married to a non-Christian (which should be avoided to begin with, but sometimes someone gets saved after marriage), and the non-believer leaves, then the Christian is not bound in this case. But note the fact they ought to “remain unmarried” if a spouse leaves them because of their faith.

Wicked Religion

Consider also Ezra 9:1-3: “Now when these things were done, the princes came to me, saying, The people of Israel, and the priests, and the Levites, have not separated themselves from the people of the lands, doing according to their abominations, even of the Canaanites, the Hittites, the Perizzites, the Jebusites, the Ammonites, the Moabites, the Egyptians, and the Amorites. For they have taken of their daughters for themselves, and for their sons: so that the holy seed have mingled themselves with the people of those lands: yea, the hand of the princes and rulers hath been chief in this trespass. And when I heard this thing, I rent my garment and my mantle, and plucked off the hair of my head and of my beard, and sat down astonied.”

After this, those men put away all their wives. I do believe that this is more appropriate for post-exilic Israel, because it talks about the impurity of the “holy seed” in verse 2. Since the Messiah has been born and completed his work at Calvary, the concept of the “holy seed” is no longer an issue (Christ ultimately was that holy seed, Galatians 3:16).

Also, remember that many in these ethnic groups were tied to gods that required child sacrifices and other sickening actions. Is this really your case?

God’s Thoughts on Divorce

Leviticus 21:7: “They shall not take a wife that is a whore, or profane; neither shall they take a woman put away from her husband: for he is holy unto his God.” The priests that served God were not to marry divorced women.

Malachi 2:16: “For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away.” God literally hates divorce.

Romans 7:2-3: “For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to her husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband liveth, she be married to another man, she shall be called an adulteress: but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law; so that she is no adulteress, though she be married to another man.” Only death terminates a marriage.

Polygamy

I do not want to overlook the fact that many men, including heroes of the faith (per Hebrews 11) such as Jacob and David, had multiple wives. Returning to Jesus’ teaching, however, in Mark 10:11, we read: “Whosoever shall put away his wife, and marry another, committeth adultery against her.” Is it not just as much adultery to be married to two women simultaneously then it is to divorce one first? Second, the heart of Jesus’ command returns back to Eden, where it all originated: “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). It is not “cleave unto his wives.” The two, not the many, become one flesh.

Understand that becoming a disciple of Jesus in many ways upped the standards of the Old Testament law, as a casual reading of the Sermon on the Mount would suggest. We must live to higher standards then those of the ancient world because we are the salt and light of the world. If the divorce rate is the same among those who name the name of Christ than those of the world, then there is a problem. I suggest that we love our wives as God commands us, and that we ought to remain with our spouses for life, for this is pleasing to God and also models the love of Christ in our world.