Motivating Others

2006-10-27

I was assigned the task of writing a paragraph either supporting or refuting the below statement in the context of a husband and wife relationship.

Statement: “The key to motivating another person is by meeting their deepest need.”

Position: Argument against this statement, unless we modify the statement to say “deepest felt need.”

Argument: The only problem with this statement is the phrase “deepest need.” Our deepest need was our separation from God, and Jesus paid for our sins by dying on cross. If we modify the statement to say “deepest felt need,” then it is satisfactory. Husbands must love their wives (Colossians 3:19) and wives must respect their husbands (Colossians 3:18). Eggerichs argues that these commands were given because they are most unnatural to each respective marriage partner. When a husband acts without love, his wife will react disrespectfully. Likewise, when a wife acts without respect, her husband reacts without love. Oftentimes, differences in gender makeup allow for miscommunication and otherwise innocent actions from one may be misinterpreted by the other. When the married couple recognizes this, this crazy cycle can be abolished (Ephesians 5:21). The wife can respect her husband, which will motivate his love, and his love will motivate her respect (1 Peter 3:6-7). A new cycle begins here. The only precaution with this statement is that God is the one who ultimately fills our needs; even with felt needs, He is the one who provides (Acts 4:12).

Sources

Eggerichs, Emerson. Love and Respect: Marriage Conference Workbook. Grand Rapids: Love and Respect Ministries, 2006.