Controlling the Tongue in the Book of Proverbs
2024-10-14
Wisdom and the Tongue
Wisdom is personified as a woman in Proverbs 8. Consider what “she” (wisdom) says. “Hear; for I will speak of excellent things; and the opening of my lips shall be right things. For my mouth shall speak truth; and wickedness is an abomination to my lips. All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing froward or perverse in them” (Proverbs 8:6-8). We will discuss “source” later (“from above” vs. “from man”). But we see here that a wise person will speak excellent and right things and not perverse and evil things. The wise person will inevitably speak wisdom because of the LORD.
The one who lacks wisdom will have a discrepancy between his heart and what he says. “He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool. In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise. The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth. The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom” (Proverbs 10:18-21). The wicked may say kind things but really harbors hatred. He talks a lot, and his speech betrays his heart’s motives. Everything they say lacks wisdom. Conversely, the righteous speak to lift up others. We will see a little more on this later.
“The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked speaketh forwardness” (Proverbs 10:32). The righteous has the wisdom to know what to speak and when to speak it, but the wicked seem to be blunt and do not consider what he should say and if he should say it. We also discuss a little more on this later.
“An hypocrite with his mouth destroyeth his neighbour: but through knowledge shall the just be delivered” (Proverbs 11:9). And again, “The words of the wicked are to lie in wait for blood: but the mouth of the upright shall deliver them” (Proverbs 12:6). We said the fool says one thing and thinks another. This type of person destroys with his speech, but the righteous man in wisdom from above will not be destroyed by his intent.
“He that speaketh truth sheweth forth righteousness: but a false witness deceit” (Proverbs 12:17). When testifying for or against someone, the tongue has the power of life and death for someone.
“Go from the presence of a foolish man, when thou perceivest not in him the lips of knowledge” (Proverbs 14:7). This is not just for people we hear speaking in our day-to-day lives. The personalities on the Internet, radio, and television often speak foolishness, yet they have huge followings. We are called to walk away from the clamor.
“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26). Here, we see the virtuous wife discussed in Proverbs’ final chapter speaks wisdom and kindness.
Source of the Tongue (“From Above” vs. “From Man”)
If “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights,” and there is a “wisdom that is from above,” good speech comes not from the old nature. Righteous, controlled speech also comes from above. Let us consider speech that comes “from above.”
“For the LORD giveth wisdom: out of his mouth cometh knowledge and understanding” (Proverbs 2:6). The LORD Himself gives us wisdom from above, and as a result, the speech that comes from this wisdom reflects knowledge and understanding.
“When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things” (Proverbs 2:10-12). With the wisdom from above, we can evade the attacks of the enemy, including the enemy’s evil tongue.
“My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh. Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee. Let thine eyes look right on, and let thine eyelids look straight before thee. Ponder the path of thy feet, and let all thy ways be established. Turn not to the right hand nor to the left: remove thy foot from evil” (Proverbs 4:20-27). See the progression of this. First, there is the preaching of the words and sayings, then the hearer is to keep them forever before him. Since everything from our lives springs from our hearts, which would include our own words, the heart must be set on the engrafted Word of God and led by the Spirit.
“The heart of the wise teacheth his mouth, and addeth learning to his lips” (Proverbs 16:23). What we say comes from the heart, and from whatever the heart is trusting in at that moment.
“Excellent speech becometh not a fool: much less do lying lips a prince” (Proverbs 17:7). Our speech should match what we are. It does not make sense for the fool to speak eloquent wisdom. An honored prince should not lie. And for children of the King, we should always speak wisdom and truth.
“Be not thou envious against evil men, neither desire to be with them. For their heart studieth destruction, and their lips talk of mischief” (Proverbs 24:1-2). From here, we can deduce that those who speak mischief to destroy others are evil men. The Scriptures tell us to keep away from these people.
“He that hateth dissembleth with his lips, and layeth up deceit within him; When he speaketh fair, believe him not: for there are seven abominations in his heart” (Proverbs 26:24-25). Evil people feign themselves to be something they are not. You cannot believe what they say, and there is more evil in them then what we can imagine.
Self-Control
When we speak of “self-control,” we should be careful to say that the “self” really does not control much; it is being controlled by the Holy Spirit that we speak of.
“He that keepeth his mouth keepeth his life: but he that openeth wide his lips shall have destruction” (Proverbs 13:3). Imagine a time where somebody says something, and it changes the course of his life. It could be that you injure someone with words that will always be remembered. Even a thousand apologies may not take it completely away. Or perhaps saying something inappropriate to the wrong person. If you can control the speech, or rather, your speech is controlled by the Holy Spirit, you will never fail. And again, “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles” (Proverbs 21:23).
“If thou hast done foolishly in lifting up thyself, or if thou hast thought evil, lay thine hand upon thy mouth” (Proverbs 30:32). It is good to catch yourself in pride and to stop it before it is vomited out to the world.
Empowering Speech
Instead of using speech as a weapon, why not use it to lift others up? Surely, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof” (Proverbs 18:21). “Yea, my reins shall rejoice, when thy lips speak right things” (Proverbs 23:16).
“The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life: but violence covereth the mouth of the wicked” (Proverbs 10:11). Think of being dehydrated and coming to a well of water. The righteous’ words give life like the well gives hydration to the thirsty. For some, they are waiting for someone to lift them up after being pushed down for so long. How much more, though, is the righteous Word of God able to lift up and give power to the lifeless? And again, “There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword: but the tongue of the wise is health” (Proverbs 12:18). And again, “A wholesome tongue is a tree of life: but perverseness therein is a breach in the spirit” (Proverbs 15:4).
“The lips of the wise disperse knowledge: but the heart of the foolish doeth not so” (Proverbs 15:7). Wise people speak in a way that instructs others with their words. This is another way the wise impart life. And this imparted knowledge is more precious than any education that one can obtain in the world. “There is gold, and a multitude of rubies: but the lips of knowledge are a precious jewel” (Proverbs 20:15).
“Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction. Open thy mouth, judge righteously, and plead the cause of the poor and needy” (Proverbs 31:8-9). How about using speech to speak on behalf of those who cannot speak? The LORD is the defender of the downtrodden. So will we be also when we are in Christ.
Words Spoken at Appropriate Times
“A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!” (Proverbs 15:23). “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver” (Proverbs 25:11). Right words spoken at the wrong times can backfire. Think about speaking the truth without love. We rely on the Spirit to provide the right words at the right time. Consider this: “The preparations of the heart in man, and the answer of the tongue, is from the LORD” (Proverbs 16:1).
Approved of Kings, and the King
The right words before kings can bring approval. However, we care most about what the Lord Jesus thinks. We receive words from Him, speak those words to whom He wills, and He is pleased in return.
Consider this:
But before all these, they shall lay their hands on you, and persecute you, delivering you up to the synagogues, and into prisons, being brought before kings and rulers for my name’s sake. And it shall turn to you for a testimony. Settle it therefore in your hearts, not to meditate before what ye shall answer: For I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which all your adversaries shall not be able to gainsay nor resist. (Luke 21:12-15)
And again, concerning the apostle Paul,
But the Lord said unto him, Go thy way: for he is a chosen vessel unto me, to bear my name before the Gentiles, and kings, and the children of Israel: (Acts 9:15)
Consider these as we read the following.
“Righteous lips are the delight of kings; and they love him that speaketh right” (Proverbs 16:13). As we read the book of Proverbs, we will read things that are generally true. There will be exceptions. The Antichrist will be a king and will not care about righteous lips. However, consider this proverb in the context of the New Testament. If we speak things from the Lord, kings and leaders will at least be impressed to a degree with the speech.
With the apostles, we read, “Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus” (Acts 4:13). They saw these fishermen, expecting them to be fools, but they recognized that they were bold and wise. And recall Paul before Agrippa: “King Agrippa, believest thou the prophets? I know that thou believest. Then Agrippa said unto Paul, Almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian” (Acts 26:27-28). And sometimes, perhaps there will be this result as we see with Sergius Paulus: “Then the deputy, when he saw what was done, believed, being astonished at the doctrine of the Lord” (Acts 13:12).
“He that loveth pureness of heart, for the grace of his lips the king shall be his friend” (Proverbs 22:11). Our speech may even draw royalty to become our friends. Moreso, our pure heart and gracious speech will be considered by the King Himself. Recall Abraham was called the friend of God. King Jesus also calls us His friends when we are obedient. “Ye are my friends, if ye do whatsoever I command you” (John 15:14).
“Wisdom is too high for a fool: he openeth not his mouth in the gate” (Proverbs 24:7). The unwise fool will not have any say at the gate, the place where men of authority met in the ancient world.
“By long forbearing is a prince persuaded, and a soft tongue breaketh the bone” (Proverbs 25:15). Gentle speech and long patient persistence can affect leaders. Perhaps with more time, Paul could have persuaded Agrippa? Hopefully he was convinced sometime in his lifetime.
Strange Women
Consider these things concerning wicked women: “For the lips of a strange woman drop as an honeycomb, and her mouth is smoother than oil” (Proverbs 5:3). And again, “To keep thee from the evil woman, from the flattery of the tongue of a strange woman” (Proverbs 6:24). And again, “With her much fair speech she caused him to yield, with the flattering of her lips she forced him” (Proverbs 7:21). And finally, “The mouth of strange women is a deep pit: he that is abhorred of the LORD shall fall therein” (Proverbs 22:14).
These four quotations show how an adulteress can lure someone into a trap. Such a woman is called “strange” and “evil.” She uses words to make people fall into sin with her. We need to be ready for these traps if they come our way.
The Wicked
“A naughty person, a wicked man, walketh with a froward mouth. He winketh with his eyes, he speaketh with his feet, he teacheth with his fingers; Frowardness is in his heart, he deviseth mischief continually; he soweth discord. Therefore shall his calamity come suddenly; suddenly shall he be broken without remedy” (Proverbs 6:12-15). Everything a wicked man does comes from his innermost being. All his behavior is affected. There is no fixing the reprobate man.
“An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips there is as a burning fire” (Proverbs 16:27). The wicked man’s speech is destructive.
“A violent man enticeth his neighbour, and leadeth him into the way that is not good. He shutteth his eyes to devise froward things: moving his lips he bringeth evil to pass” (Proverbs 16:29-30). The wicked man entices others to follow him in wicked ways. He invents new ways to be evil.
“He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips” (Proverbs 20:19). There are some matters that need to be kept confidential. The wicked reveal secrets, so we don’t confide in them.
Consider also the so-called “seven deadly sins,” which also involve our speech.